I’m on the home stretch now, and whilst work is still being a bitch to get through (instead of the easy wind down we’d hoped for), the light’s there, I can see it at the end of this bloody tunnel I’ve been crawling through.
I’ve tried to explain to friends that I feel quite embarrassed now about having known that I’ve been setting off for for longer an I’m actually going away for. Also, the reason I shouted so loud about travel was to make me FOLLOW THROUGH…it’s the only way I actually get myself to DO ANYTHING that’s out of my comfort zone…a bit like the time I threw myself off a mountain on a pair of skis with a parachute (and a frenchman) strapped to my back, although admittedly a sturdy Val d’Isere hangover and a lame aversion to piste map reading also played a part in my quest for the quickest way down. The point is, I did it because it TERRIFIED me (and, as per above, because I’d told my ski-buddies I was going to), and aside from the hyperventilation and yelp-whimpering, I was EUPHORIC and proud to have pushed myself to do it.
My friends tell me I DO SO MUCH, but sometimes I feel I don’t really do ANYTHING. I feel like I’ve let life pass me by, and everything’s changed for almost everyone but me. I need to push myself more, and I’m looking forward to seeing if I’m perhaps a bit(/lot?) stronger than I give myself credit for. I have high hopes for 2013 and am hoping for some big changes. I hope I’m not expecting too much.
The next few weeks are going to fly by, and I’ve got some really special times to look forward to with friends and family over Christmas and the New Year.
Regrets, well: it’s safe to say I’VE HAD A FEW (and big thanks go to those who’ve helped me through them), but it’s now time to EMBRACE THE FUTURE.
I’m happy, and I’m looking forward to venturing in to the unknown and testing my resolve, patience, strength and fears.